New Beginnings

Sometimes we focus too much on what has ended,

and not enough on what is to come.

We are about six hours away from a new year.

Tonight, is the moment where we say goodbye to what has passed,

and start over.

Some people hold on so tightly to the past.

They forget to find joy in new opportunities.

When a door closes in our lives we stand still for so long,

looking through the glass window.

We feel safe on the front porch of what has already happened.

We forget to move forward.

We forget to pick up our memories and move on.

Frozen in a fragment of time that slips away and leaves us empty.

Emptier then an overturned hour glass.

But my friend, there is a splinter of light ahead

A glimmer bouncing off of icicles and shards of glass.

The end is just another beginning.

An Explosion of All Things Good

Today I'm gonna try a little harder
Gonna make every minute last longer
Gonna learn to forgive and forget
'Cause we don't have long, gonna make the most of it

Today I'm gonna love my enemies
Reach out to somebody who needs me
Make a change, make the world a better place
'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late

This is the chorus to one of the songs on my new Skillet CD that I got for Christmas. I think it is now officially my favorite song, and it is really tugging at my heart. I do not want to be that girl.. that girl who walks blindly through life without a thought or glance at what is truly important.

This blog is basically the definition of a ramble. I have so much on my mind.. so many GOOD and wonderful things. I feel like I could not even begin to describe to you what God is doing in my life. His love is absolutely amazing.. and the blessings He is pouring on me leave me sitting here bubbly and in awe. I am learning daily how BIG my God is.. and if you have had any sort of conversation with me in the past few days I have probably brought the topic up. It feels impossible NOT to talk about the things He is doing in my life right now.

I have gone through so much in my life, some of you know and some of you do not, and lately I have been reflecting on those low moments.. trying to gain a lesson out of it. Sometimes we need to take the time to look back over our lives and allow ourselves to look past the hurt and pain someone might have placed on us, and instead see the way God carried us through. The way He brought someone else in our lives to help us out. The way a death or a sickness in our family could possibly have snapped us back to reality. The way He moved. It is SO important to periodically reflect on those times, and it could be beneficial to share your past with others. Whether you like it or not, the past is part of you and your mistakes are part of your testimony.

Okay enough about the past, it is the present that is so exciting right now. Scroll back up and read the lyrics to that song again. ---------- ..did you do it? I hope so haha.. okay. Today is a wonderful day. I think far too often that we let it slip by. A lot of times we focus only on the past.. even if we are looking at it for good, like lessons we have learned. But what is God doing in your life today? What are you learning right now? And how can we live that out?

I am learning so much right now, and it is amazing that I do not have to stumble and fall to learn it. I am learning who I am, and who God is, simply through the people He has placed in my life. I am learning that God has a purpose and a plan in EVERYTHING He does. Sometimes I cannot see it, sometimes I do not want to see it, but He does.

I hope that you read all of that and did not just skim through. Take time today to get up, get out, and reconnect with the people you know around you. Not through Facebook, not over AIM, but sit down one on one or in a group, and talk about how God is working in your lives. If you feel like He is not working in your life, or everything is falling apart, maybe you are not allowing Him to work in your life. It could be a long process, it could be a painful process. But it is such an amazing process. We serve an awesome God who does awesome things. Use today to learn and move on, because we are not promised a tomorrow.

"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." --James 4:14

The Vase

~~ Aunt Dorothy was a strong woman. She was 87 years old, and very respected in her town. No body knew her relatives because when her kids reached their 30s and 40s, they moved away, forgetting all about her. Aunt Dorothy was the kind of lady that would go out to the small field in the town and watch the neighborhood boys get together a game of baseball. She would help a new mother take care of her baby while the husband is at work. She loved people, and making people happy. Maybe it is because her family left her, so she tried to support other families.

~~ So here we find Aunt Dorothy, sitting in her house, the one she has lived in for the last 50 years, creating. Building, molding, creating. You see, Aunt Dorothy was a ceramics artist, and her favorite hobby was putting a lump of clay on her potter's wheel, and sitting there for hours on end until she had a round, hollow vase to show for her work. When visiting her house, you would find vases everywhere. Every color, texture, size, style, and stage of creation. She has shelves and bookcases and tables full of vases. If you walked around the town you would find vases. She loved to give some as housewarming gifts, wedding shower gifts, welcome home gifts, and just as gifts in general to show people she cared about them and was thinking about them.

~~ Every time she gave someone a vase, she would say these words to them, "It does not matter where you put the vase, it matters what you put in it. Once you fill it with something, you will find the perfect place to set it." When Aunt Dorothy visited around town, she was always thrilled to see when people had her vase set out on their counter. One day when she visited my house, she commented on the green ceramic vase she had given me when I moved in. I had it filled with daffodils, and it was set upon the top of my counter for all to see. She told me what she has told me half a thousand times, "It does not matter where you put the vase, it matters what you put in it. Once you fill it with something, you will find the perfect place to set it." Well after she departed, I left for class.

~~ After a stressful day at school, I came home and threw my stuff on the floor by the fridge, grabbed a late lunch and went upstairs. Day after day I followed my usual routine. I began to neglect the daffodils that I had placed in my vase, and they wilted and died. Aunt Dorothy visited again as she did every Friday, and when she walked through my kitchen to set some food she made for me on the table, I saw her glance at the unkept flowers in my vase. I noticed the disappointment in her eyes, but brushed it aside after scolding myself for forgetting to refill my vase before she came. "I'll do better next Friday," I thought to myself.

~~ Another week of classes came and went, the counter top I kept my green ceramic vase on was beginning to clutter with papers, a project, some stacked up dishes, and a half empty pizza box. When Aunt Dorothy walked in she looked around and commented. "It must be exam week," was all she said, and then we went in the other room to discuss nature and politics. I shuffled around another excuse in my mind as to why I let the counter clutter around my wilted flowers in my green ceramic vase, and made a mental note to do better next time.

~~ A week later, it was Friday again.. early morning before Aunt Dorothy came in. As I was stacking another dish on my ever-growing pile, I knocked the vase with the over-due flowers and stale water into the sink. When I set it back on the counter I noticed that the top edge had chipped. At that moment, the door bell rang, so I hid the vase and went to let in Aunt Dorothy. Instead of taking her to the kitchen and sitting with her at the table, I coaxed her outside where I brought her some tea. We sat on the porch till the sun was shining overhead. Being the grandmotherly figure she was, she offered to make us both lunch. I protested in vain. Soon Aunt Dorothy came back out to the porch with a tray of sandwiches in one hand, and the chipped vase in the other. I cringed.

~~ It felt like forever until she finally parted her lips to speak, and then she pressed them together again. Eventually she asked why I neglected to fill my vase every day with fresh flowers. I broke down and confessed that I never could find time to fill it daily. Instead I would rush around on a Friday morning to fill it up before she visited. I explained how I knocked the vase into the sink earlier that morning as a result of my cluttered lifestyle. She looked genuinely disappointed in me, but only words of love and encouragement left her mouth. I felt that I did not deserve such a beautiful vase after how I had neglected it, but she took this time to explain something important to me.

~~ She told me how I have a purpose in life, and that purpose is to glorify God in everything I do. She said just as I need to fill my vase with flowers every day, it is important to fill my life with God's word. It is important to daily read my bible to know what His plan is for me, and to be able to give him complete control. Then I mentioned how the vase is chipped, it is no longer worth displaying. She walked over to my garden and pulled up some plush red tulips, placing them in my vase. When doing so, the chip on the top edge was unnoticeable because of the way she arranged the flowers. I smiled. Once again she said, "It does not matter where you put the vase, it matters what you put in it. Once you fill it with something, you will find the perfect place to set it." I understood at that moment the true meaning of those words. We as Christians never have to worry about the past, the present, or the future. If we put our full trust in God, and daily repent and fill our hearts with His word, He will direct our paths. He will place us exactly where He wants us to be, and we will be able to serve Him to the fullest with what He has given us.

~~ Suddenly that little vase did not seem like such a chore to take care of. I went into my kitchen, cleared the dishes off of the table and set it back where it belongs.

A Collaboration of Things That Make Me Happy

This is a list of some of the things that make me smile, laugh, or just feel happy..

Spending time with my family, hanging out with my friends, meeting new people, completing an academic challenge, completing a challenge in general, running, tea, new shoes, working with young people, sunshine, cuddling with kittens, singing off key, warm showers, reading my bible, watching a child's eyes light up when they accomplish or discover something, necklaces, blue eyes, seeing someone smile, Reese's cups, good hair days, creating something unique, being at church, taking pictures, fruit snacks, people getting engaged, editing videos, drawing, hugs, chewing gum, anything completely random or off the wall, Chinese food, listening to someone I care about laugh, listening to anyone laugh, babies, water, being warm, pay day, freshly painted nails, bible studies, washing my face, watching movies, snow, being different, candy, getting a good grade on a test, road trips, playing soccer, getting letters, surprises, being the only one in the house that is awake, Starbucks, successfully walking up a flight of stairs without falling, hiccups, encouraging bible verses, Sharpies, hugging clothes after they get out of the dryer, BCM, finding money in my pocket that I forgot about, reading, silly string fights, new music, the Christmas season, looking at the stars, good memories, bright colors, internet access, flying in an airplane, serving people, serving God, talking online, art, when people visit me at work, picnics in the park, comfortable jeans, technology, writing, macaroni and cheese, going out to eat, new clothes, sleeping, outrageously hilarious dreams, smiling.

Basically, I could go on and on and on and on and on.. but I am choosing not to because I am sure you have better things to do then read about some things that make me happy. Ultimately though, my joy comes from the Lord. He has truly blessed me. :]

Reflecting Upon Thanksgiving :]

Food. Family. Thanksgiving. The time of year where it is patriotic to eat until you feel like you might bust.. and then wake up super early the next day to spend a ton of money on some great sales.

Thanksgiving morning started off with a trip to Urgent Care.. to discover Sarina had strep throat. She is such a trooper though, and hasn't complained at all. Just coughs a good bit. Then my mom came back home and finished cooking our amazing meal. I love that the house smelled like food all day long.. preparing us for an evening of feasting.

After an AMAZING dinner cooked by my mom and grandmom [my grandparents flew down from PA to spend Thanksgiving with us] we had dessert. Sarina had given us all note cards to write what we were thankful for. So after dessert we went around the table and took a moment to share what we are thankful for. It was so neat to hear all the different things my family was thankful for, and make a physical list of my own as well. I am glad Sarina knows the real meaning of Thanksgiving. It is not just about eating so much food that you end up looking pregnant [like I did.. ugh].

Then.. Black Friday. I woke up at 3am.. and Tim's friend Chad picked us both up. We started off with breakfast at IHOP.. and then headed over to the mall. The deals this year were not as great.. but it was still a lot of fun to walk around at 5am looking at all the excited people there. My favorite part though was when I went to Walmart later in the morning.. around 8:30. The people in there were CRAZY! One woman walked by with a cart overflowing with random board games and kid's toys. Yes.. everything is on sale. But the more you purchase.. you end up spending just about the same anyways. AND.. your kids are not going to play with all those games. Trust me. Yet.. people were stuffing things into their carts so they can get their $300 worth of "deals".

So that was my Thanksgiving. My favorite part was spending time with my family.. passing plates of food across the table.. laughing.. and just being together. Now it's time to turn on the Christmas music.. and focus on the rest of this holiday season.. CHRISTMAS! We already put up our tree.. and I already have most of my gifts bought. This is my favorite time of year. :]

Pro-Life Day of Silent Solidarity

Silent cries

Piercing through the night

Breathless sighs

Losing a one-sided fight

Sightless eyes

Never seeing the light

Harmful lies

Making it all seem right

No one can hear me

My life blown out like a candle

No one can see me--I am not wanted

Sacrificing my life

For the comfort of those around me

I was just a mass of tissue

Or was I?

What if you knew I was a baby?

A living human being like you

Would you have taken my life?

My chances?

Do you realize what you did?

Now no one will ever know my name

I will never see the sun

I will never feel the rain

I will never be loved

Just another life added to the statistics

One voice lost among 50 million

On Tuesday, October 20, 2009 there is an event that is taking place across this nation as a project of StandTrue among many pro-life people in their schools, workplaces, and areas of influence. It is called Pro-Life Day of Silent Solidarity, and the challenge is to stay silent for the whole day, in honor of and in prayer for the more then 50 MILLION babies who have been aborted since January 22, 1973, JUST in America. 50 MILLION innocent lives that are cut off from generations that have passed and generations that are to come.

Numerous times this evening while researching the statistics of abortion I had chills run along my spine. According to www.silentday.org ..in America, there are about 4,000 abortions that occur every day. I did some math, and the numbers were so startling that I had to do the equations again. Every MINUTE, approximately 3 babies are aborted in this nation alone. So in one hour and fifteen minute class period I sit through at Tech, approximately 225 hearts are stopped before that being even has a chance to exit the comfort of the mother's womb. This is obviously something I have a great passion for. Those babies will never inhale a single breath. Those babies will never smile at the recognition of their mother's voice. Those babies will never have a chance at life outside the womb.

In biology we have been studying meiosis. Meiosis is the process that divides cells to form an egg cell and a sperm cell. The detail of the code to behavior and character traits in every strand of DNA is mind-boggling. The whole thought of genetic variation, and the MILLIONS of combinations that can possibly be made at the exact moment of conception is humbling. After the egg cell is fertilized, it is a single-celled entity called a zygote. That zygote undergoes COUNTLESS mitotic divisions over a period of about nine months.

A FEW LIFE DEVELOPMENT FACTS 

-20 days: Foundations of brain, spinal cord and nervous system are laid. 

-24 days: Heart begins to beat. 

-30 days: Child has grown 10,000 times to 6-7 mm (1/4") long. Brain has human proportions. Blood flows in veins (but stays separate from mother's blood). 

-35 days: Pituitary gland in brain is forming. Mouth, ears and nose are taking shape. 

-42 days: Skeleton is formed. Brain coordinates movement of muscles and organs. Reflex responses have begun. Penis is forming in boys. (Mother misses second period.) 

-43 days: Brain waves can be recorded. 

-8 1/2 weeks: Fingerprints are being engraved. Eyelids and palms of hands are sensitive to touch. 

-9 weeks: Child will bend fingers around an object placed in the palm. Thumb sucking occurs. Fingernails are now forming. 

-10 weeks: Body is sensitive to touch. Child squints, swallows, puckers up brow and frowns. 

-11 weeks: Baby urinates, makes complex facial expressions - even smiles. 

-12 weeks: Vigorous activity shows distinct individuality. Child can kick, turn feet, curl and fan toes, make a fist, move thumbs, bend wrists, turn head, open mouth and press lips tightly together. Breathing is practiced. 

-13 weeks: Face is prettier, facial expressions resembling parents'. Movements are graceful, reflexes vigorous. Vocal chords are formed (but without air baby cannot cry). Sex organs are apparent. 

-4 months: Child can grasp with hands, swim and turn somersaults. 

-5 months: Sleeping habits appear, but a slammed door will provoke activity. Child responds to sounds in frequencies too high or low for adults to hear. 

-6 months: Fine hair grows on eye brows & head. Eye-lash fringe appears. Weight is about 640g (22 oz.), height 23 cm (9"). Babies born at this age have survived.

-7 months: Eye teeth are present. Eyelids open and close, eyes look around. Hands grip strongly. Mother's voice is heard and recognized.

I know this blog is very long, but this is what is on my heart. We must be informed on controversial topics. How many people are aware of the holocaust of our own future that is taking place? So now I get to the point where I tell you about Tuesday. I personally have made the decision to not communicate in any form. So I will not be on Facebook, AIM, and my phone will be turned off (though I will have it with me incase of an emergency). I have also chosen to place a symbolic piece of red duct tape across my mouth with the word "LIFE" written on it. I am preparing informational note cards for people who ask why I am not speaking. I will spend the day praying, and fasting (which I have never done, so I am excited and humbled by this idea all at the same time). My prayer focus will be not only on the babies being aborted, but also on the mothers, fathers, clinical workers, abortion doctors, and peers who all have a contribution in the ultimate decision made for each life that is aborted.

If you feel lead to join me in silence, praying for this under-broadcasted topic of controversy, feel free and let me know I'm not doing this alone. If you would like some of my red duct tape, let me know as well and I'll try to meet up with you at some point before Tuesday to give you a piece. If you chose not to participate, at least take this time to pray for the lives that are being affected by abortion. Or, if you are unsure of what you believe concerning this topic, take the time to research and think about pro-life. Also, feel free to ask me any questions, I will do my best to answer as well as I can based on facts and my own beliefs. I know that God can do amazing things through the power of prayer. I am excited for how He will move across this nation.

Dance

~~ A few weeks ago someone asked me to post a poem on here.  Well I finally got a chance to move some of my documents over to my laptop from my desktop.. so here it is.  Keep in mind that I wrote this in July of 2006.  I had just turned 15.. so yeah..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reach for my hand

Hold it in Yours

Teach me to dance

Spin me around

Across these dancing floors

Teach me to dance

 

Show me how

How to dance with what I have

Two feet

Two hands

One heart to keep the beat

It may not be a lot

But teach me to dance

 

Hold me close 

Close to You

Don't let my feet slip

Watch me as I go

As I go off on my own

Out onto the dance floor

And watch me dance

 

Tell me I can do it

I can do the intricate steps

The fast paces

The slow paces

The life paces

Tell me I can dance

 

I can dance till the sun rises

Till it rises over my misery

I can follow through with what I've begun

The dance of the hurting and torn

I'll dance till my shoes are worn

For You I will dance

 

I will dance back to Your arms

To Your arms that hold me close

That teach me

And show me

You show me how to dance

How to dance to this life song

 

Life is like a dance

The fast and slow

Painful and joyful

We just have to dance it

Alone and together

Dance it till the sun rises

Dance till the song is over

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ So this poem talks about life.  How God watches over us, how He holds us close, and especially how He cares about us and does not want to see us hurt.  Stuff always happens in our lives, and we just have to keep living.  Just have to keep on dancing.

~~ "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." ~Phillipians 3:12-14

Reminiscing in the Sunset of Summer

~~ Summer is nearing its end.   Not much longer till we have to slow down for school zones, stop for busses dropping kids off at home, and do some tax-free shopping for back to school clothes [August 7-9 for SC folks].  I'd like to dedicate this post as kind of a recap of my summer.  Summer is like one huge long day.  There is a sunrise, and a sunset.  And of course, a few meals inbetween.

~~ Sunrise.  End of school.  A solo flight to PA for a friend's wedding.  Graduation.  Birthday.  This was the sunrise of my summer.  The excitement and anticipation of completing the chapter of my life called Highschool, sharing that excitement with all the family and friends that supported me in my graduation, and less then a week later hitting the ripe old age of 18.  That was a very stressful, yet amazing week, and a great start to a wonderful summer.  Sunrises are gorgeous.  This sunrise was a new beginning, not only for my summer, but for the rest of my life.

~~ Breakfast is the first meal of the day.  That first chance of energy after a long night of laying still, in the dark.  The energizing start to my summer was Summer Camp.  What a great start too.  I wrote a little blurb about summer camp in a previous blog [In Between the Lions] so I won't go into a ton of detail here.  But summer camp to me was like a nice blend of bacon, eggs, and cheese on a croissant.  And lots of fruit.  Summer camp was a wake up call after a long night of sleep.  

~~ Lunch tends to be the meal that I share with friends.  We go out shopping, then stop and share lunch together at Ruby Tuesday's or McDonald's [depending on the heftiness of our paychecks for the week].  Lunch is a time of giving as well.  Sharing left overs off of each other's plates, splitting the bill right down the middle, etc.  So my lunch this summer was Belize.  Now I haven't shared anything about Belize in a post yet, so here it goes.  Brace yourselves.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ The team that Cornerstone sent to Belize was an absolutely amazing blend of people, and I am so glad I was able to be a part of it.  We worked well together, and I don't think there was ever a bicker among one team member to another.  The week was filled with young village children, some who spoke English and some who did not.  The theme of our week, one of the words that kept popping up at the end of each day during our debriefing session, was love.  Even if the people of each village we visited couldn't understand a word we said, they all could comprehend love.  Whether it was a hug for a small child, throwing a frisbee to an older youth, or smiling at a pregnant woman with a brood of children clinging to her legs.

~~ Another common word in Belize was joy.  Most of these kids had NOTHING.  Just the clothes on their back, and shoes if they were lucky enough.  Yet everytime our problematic school bus arrived on a ministry site, kids came running.  Little feet pounding across the hot asphalt or the dusty sand.  Then they would line up and smile the biggest smiles while they waited for us to climb off the bus.  Once we picked some kids up from a children's home.. most who didn't have parents anymore whether through abandonment or death.  Those kids were joyful.  You couldn't tell them apart from the other kids who came with their parents.  They were hungry for God's word.  

~~ The last word that popped up a few times was family.  It was heartbreaking and humbling to watch 7 year olds walk up to ministry sites holding a baby in one arm, and the hand of a 3 year old in the other.  Watching them huddle in little groups with their brothers and sisters and cousins, taking turns with the youngest, and clinging to each other.  The biggest chance we got to serve them was to let them be kids.  Even if only for a day.  The women in our team would collect the babies and younger children so the older kids who play the roles of mom and dad, could run around like elementary aged kids are supposed to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ Dinner is typically a family event.  That's the meal that most families gather around one table, talk about their day, and eat together.  So the dinner of my summer was the trip that most of my family went on.  Beach Plant.  My mom was a chaperone, I was a junior chaperone, Hannah and Bekah were participants, and Sarina was the usual sidekick/mascot.  It was great to get to minister to another church in Myrtle Beach alongside with my youth group and my family.  It was indeed a great trip over all.  I made some new friends, and learned some new lessons.

~~ Some people eat night time snacks.  Kind of a little pick me up before going to bed.  So if there was an event in my summer to label a snack.. it would definitely be the weekend we went up to Pennsylvania.  It was wonderful to hang out with old friends, visit with a lot of family, and on the return trip home, make a huge tax-free purchase in Delaware.  My 17" MacBook Pro [with the free ipod touch and printer].  Oh the joys of being a college student.  Free stuff.  :]  For some reason though, they make you spend money to get free stuff.  So I guess it's not completely free?  Oh well, that was still a very happy day, and a nice treat.  Kinda like a bedtime snack.

~~ Now here we are.  The sunset of summer.  A little less then 2 weeks till school starts.  I can feel the ending arriving.  Almost like watching the sky turn colors as the sun nears the horizon, completing it's full arch across the blue backdrop speckled with fluffy clouds.  The day isn't over yet.  This is going to be a jam-packed two weeks, from Camp Rock at the Stone every morning, Carowinds on Saturday with some friends, and the youth trip to Dollywood.  I'll be pretty busy almost every second of every day, right up till the 17th when I once again walk the FDTC campus, this time as a fully-enrolled student.

~~ Everyone has seasons in their lives, much like this description of a day I dedicated to summer.  This summer I walked through some light rains, and a few full-blown thunderstorms.  However, I also soaked up the sun, and even saw a rainbow or two.  One of the passages of scripture I memorized this summer was Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.  Verse one says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven," and then it continues on with contrasting phrases, showing that we'll go through happy times filled with smiles and laughter.. as well as hardships laden with sorrowful tears of resentment and regret.  I could speak on this passage forever, so maybe at one point I'll just dedicate a blog to it.  :]

~~ This summer was very busy.  The other day while I was out with my mom searching for some school supplies [yay!] I mentioned how busy my summer was.  I told her that I was excited for school to start, because then I'll have more time to hang out with people and do some of the things I planned on doing this summer that I didn't get a chance to do.  For example, rearrange my room, paint my walls, read some books, etc.  Much to my disappointment, my mom just laughed.  I guess she knows something I don't?  It couldn't possibly have anything to do with being a full-time college student, could it?  I'm sure it has NOTHING to do with my part time job, and the other commitments I make to people and church throught the year.  Oh well.  :]

Life Lessons Learned from Sea

~~ Waves. A continuous flow of noisy white surf crashing upon the shore. Sand. That gritty stuff that is always in your swimsuit, who's foundation isn't stable and could sink away any second. Then there's the sea creatures. Jelly fish. Crabs. Every kid loves running through the ocean until they encounter one of these animals.

~~ There was a young boy once, who's father took him to the beach. They built a big sand castle at the edge of the water, and then stood by and watched on as the tide broke it down and carried it away. What was left, was a smooth patch of sand, so they began again. They detailed the turrets, carved out doors, and yet again watched the tide break it down and carry it away. The young boy got tired of watching their masterpiece be swept away. The father explained to him though that each time the tide comes, they have a chance to build another castle bigger and better than before. The boy still didn't understand, so the father gave up trying to explain it and instead brought him toward the ocean.

~~ Standing at the edge of the ocean, the boy threw a chunk of sand at it for tearing away his sand castle. As he reached back to throw another chunk, his father grabbed his fist and opened his hand till the sand slid out. Then he silently lead the child into the ocean. The waves crashed down around them, and the boy was frightened. But the kind father held his hand the whole time. Once the boy seemed to have a solid footing against the waves, the father let go of his hand and stood behind him. A few waves came and the boy was fine. He ventured out farther because of his confidence in himself, and soon a wave crashed over his body and swept him under. His father however, was right behind him and grabbed his waist as he floated by. Smiling and laughing at the circumstance.

~~ And so the pattern began. The boy would walk out to the bigger waves, then be swept underneath and lifted back up by the father. Once however, the boy told his father to stand off to the side. He was positive that he would make it through the next wave on his own. As a wave crashed down and the boy was swept under, he panicked when those strong arms didn't lift him back up. As much as it hurt the father to watch his child thrashing under the water, he let him go to see how he would react. The boy finally found a footing on the soft sand and stood up. His throat was burning from the salt water rushing into his mouth, and he had tears streaming down his face. He glared at his father and left the water to go get a drink and sit down in the sand.

~~ The father approached, but the boy crossed his arms and turned his back.. tears still pouring down his face. However, the father still sat down beside him and put a hand on his shoulder, patiently waiting for the boy to turn towards him and curl up against his strong arm. When he finally did, the father explained that sometimes in life we have to go through things on our own. We won't always have someone right there to help us through things. But he told him that just like he stood off to the side to make sure his son was alright, we always have a Father in heaven that is watching us, and doesn't want anything bad to happen to us. Each circumstance in life however, is ordained by God. So just as the boy realized that he still needed his father to get through the ocean, each of us still need God to walk with us through life. Don't push Him aside.

In Between the Lions

~~ I'm sure you have heard of that kids show. If not, don't worry about it because more than likely you'll get the theme song stuck in your head for eternity. But those of you who have seen the show, "In Between the Lions" on PBS kids and similar stations, would recognize that it is is about reading, and the "lions" mentioned in the title refer to the bookends that hold the books together. These past few days and the next few days of my summer, are the days in between the lions. However, in this case, the lions are representatives of the huge summer activities I am a part of. One just completed, and one yet to come.

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~~ Summer Camp. Every student in our student ministry looks forward to summer camp. This year we went to the mountains of Georgia, to a small campsite owned by Global Youth Missions. They host a camp there during the summers that is lead by recent high school graduates and college students. My church, Cornerstone Baptist Church, loaded 85 students into two charter buses last Monday, and made the 8 and a half hour journey to the top of a mountain for this camp. 85 out of 85 students had high expectations for summer camp this year. 85 out of 85 students had their expectations crushed when we arrived. None of us left our minds open. Even the new rising 7th graders found disappointment waiting for them when it wasn't the same as us older students had promised. We went into our rooms that night, and drifted off to sleep hoping things would get better.

~~ Tuesday: 85 out of 85 students were proved wrong. Camp was absolutely amazing. Every single person agreed that it was the best camp we had ever been to as a church group. Previous camps provided many recreational relay games, an advertised professional speaker, a record labeled band with at least one CD [which could be purchased at the merchandise table after worship services], snack bars, dramas, etc. This Global Youth camp we went to boasted none of that. The camp was basically led by young people not much older then I am. The speaker didn't stand on a stage, but rather connected with the audience by being on the ground, walking down the aisle, asking peoples names and placing them in his stories, oh and also by yelling real loud after whispering.. causing many to jump out of their seats. He had great facial expressions and vocal tones, wonderful speaker overall. There were 8 teams that we were split up into along with students from other churches. That allowed us to make new friends and bond in new ways. The whole camp focused on scripture memory, which I've never done at a camp before. That really helped us get God's word in our hearts, as well as gather points for our teams. :]

~~ By Wednesday and Thursday we all loved this camp. We worked hard for our teams in the memory verses, as well as the team building sports we played. Even the food was good. However, Thursday I woke up with acid reflux.. which put a damper on the rest of my day, as well as the ride home on Friday. Every night we'd have church group time.. where all 85 of us and our leaders would meet in a room and talk with each other.. as well as share some huge things going on in our lives. We were all challenged by Mrs. Julie on day one to pray the dangerous prayer.. "Lord change me." I think many people sincerely prayed that prayer and upon returning from camp have changed many habits and lifestyles we found ourselves caught up in. It was a really powerful week.

~~ In closing on my blurb about summer camp.. we all learned that it's not the band, the speaker, the activities, or even the sermon's that are preached that make camp amazing.. and provide good "God experiences". It's God himself. Once we were stripped down of all the distracting things we take advantage of [ipods, cell phone service, big bands, our close circle of friends], we were able to focus and rely completely on God. That provided the best experience I've ever known. Our biggest goal when returning home is to keep camp here. The "camp high" we experience every year always seems to be temporary.. because we tend to think of it as the highest point in our walk with God. Really.. it's just the beginning. When you're at your highest point the only option you have is to go down. But if you think of it as the lowest point.. then we can only climb higher with the love and accountability we found at camp.

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~~ Now this is the part of the blog where I write about these few days "in between the lions". My room looks like a disaster. I have a half unpacked suitcase strewn out on my floor. Today I've been moving the clean clothes I had in there to the pool table in the bonus room down the hall. Yes folks. I am yet again.. packing. I'm making lists, gathering clothes and first aid items, and preparing myself to put them all back into a suitcase. These are the few days of recovery I have before I'm off on another trip. This time, out of the country..

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~~ Belize [June 25 - July 2]. Thursday morning at 5am another bus will leave the parking lot of our church, this time headed to an airport. After a day of flying, our team will be in Belize--two hours behind Florence. I don't have much to write about that trip right now.. as we have not yet left. But I wanted to list a few key things you can be praying for.

• Flight and traveling safety
• Good health and energy.. and HYDRATION
• Preparation for the hearts of the locals that they would respond to the gospel
• Preparation for our own hearts as we embark on this life changing trip

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~~ So those are some of the bookends in my summer. Summer camp and Belize. However, there is another huge trip. Beach Plant takes place about a week after we get back from Belize. Then the end of August provides some busy times for the Kid's Drama Camp at Cornerstone: Camp Rock at the Stone. I'm always moving. Always going somewhere. Always doing something. But that's the way [uh-huh, uh-huh] I like it. :]

Welcome :]

~~ Welcome to my blog. You may be asking what possessed me to start yet another online outlet of expression to follow and try to keep up with. However, I find that it makes a lot of sense. I've followed blogs that women post during their pregnancies.. I've heard of people writing about the journey to marriage.. and even the super mom's who blog while their kids are at school or taking a nap. I found myself wanting to do that. Something to look back on as time goes by. Beginning a blog on my 18th birthday then, seemed like an excellent way to start. For those of you who are interested.. or just wanting to know what's going on in my crazy life.. this is for you. As well as for me, to get my thoughts out and look back one day at the time that has flown by.

~~ The name of this blog was one of those spur of the moment names. I was struggling to come up with something.. so I just typed in the first thing that came to mind. I like it though.. [which is good because I don't think I can change it]. These are my thoughts.. my ramblings.. this is my blog. So "Ramblings of a Spazio" seemed to fit. :]
I'm still getting the hang of this, but I'll get it all figured out one day.

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~~ I guess I should start this all off by writing about the events leading up to my 18th birthday. I spent yesterday with the joys of being young. I almost feared that some zap of lightning would strike me at midnight, and make me an adult. I slept in a bit.. then watched Camp Rock with my younger sisters. It had an interesting fan-girl kind of appeal to it.. definitely targeted at the younger age groups. Later on I walked through Target with Jordan and Kimberly with a pair of black polka-dotted rain boots on. Later that night, I anxiously awaited midnight.. however.. after much disappointment I soon fell asleep. There was a lot of lightning, but not the "zap" I was looking for.

~~ This morning when I woke up, I still felt the same. I ate some left over graduation cake for breakfast, and got ready for my day. Mackie came over and we spread out a picnic at the park. The air was humid, and infested with mosquitoes. Afterward we went and saw Disney Pixar's UP, and had a blast. Really good movie. My mom made a wonderful Chicken Cordon Blu casserole for supper, then some Wii tournaments and pool games followed. Much to my disappointment, I still felt the same. However, I'm thankful that 18 year-olds are still allowed to watch cute Disney movies and play Wii bowling.

~~ The best part of the day though, in my opinion, is right now. Sitting down alone, looking back. 18 is a big number. I often find myself saying phrases like, "When I was younger.." and "Remember that one time a few years ago.." The present is becoming the past. I'm growing up, and looking back at "childhood memories." Everything around me is changing. So there may not have been a "zap" of adulthood thrust upon me, but I feel older. You never realize how many years are flying by until you stand still.

~~ On a lighter note.. age doesn't even matter. Age seems to just be the levels of past you have behind you. The memory meter or something like that. Age is just a number.. it's your life that matters. Granted that age does have a little to do with legal things like drinking, smoking, voting, and getting your driver's license.. but when it comes to matters of simple life.. there is no limit.

~~ There is never anyone who is too old to have a little fun every once in a while, whether that means silly string fights in the park [or car.. but I don't suggest that].. or clomping through Target in rain boots with the tags still on them. Take a moment to stand still, remember the joys of the past.. laugh at the fun times.. and then turn right around and face the future with a smile on your face, and in your heart.