Dance

~~ A few weeks ago someone asked me to post a poem on here.  Well I finally got a chance to move some of my documents over to my laptop from my desktop.. so here it is.  Keep in mind that I wrote this in July of 2006.  I had just turned 15.. so yeah..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reach for my hand

Hold it in Yours

Teach me to dance

Spin me around

Across these dancing floors

Teach me to dance

 

Show me how

How to dance with what I have

Two feet

Two hands

One heart to keep the beat

It may not be a lot

But teach me to dance

 

Hold me close 

Close to You

Don't let my feet slip

Watch me as I go

As I go off on my own

Out onto the dance floor

And watch me dance

 

Tell me I can do it

I can do the intricate steps

The fast paces

The slow paces

The life paces

Tell me I can dance

 

I can dance till the sun rises

Till it rises over my misery

I can follow through with what I've begun

The dance of the hurting and torn

I'll dance till my shoes are worn

For You I will dance

 

I will dance back to Your arms

To Your arms that hold me close

That teach me

And show me

You show me how to dance

How to dance to this life song

 

Life is like a dance

The fast and slow

Painful and joyful

We just have to dance it

Alone and together

Dance it till the sun rises

Dance till the song is over

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ So this poem talks about life.  How God watches over us, how He holds us close, and especially how He cares about us and does not want to see us hurt.  Stuff always happens in our lives, and we just have to keep living.  Just have to keep on dancing.

~~ "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." ~Phillipians 3:12-14

Reminiscing in the Sunset of Summer

~~ Summer is nearing its end.   Not much longer till we have to slow down for school zones, stop for busses dropping kids off at home, and do some tax-free shopping for back to school clothes [August 7-9 for SC folks].  I'd like to dedicate this post as kind of a recap of my summer.  Summer is like one huge long day.  There is a sunrise, and a sunset.  And of course, a few meals inbetween.

~~ Sunrise.  End of school.  A solo flight to PA for a friend's wedding.  Graduation.  Birthday.  This was the sunrise of my summer.  The excitement and anticipation of completing the chapter of my life called Highschool, sharing that excitement with all the family and friends that supported me in my graduation, and less then a week later hitting the ripe old age of 18.  That was a very stressful, yet amazing week, and a great start to a wonderful summer.  Sunrises are gorgeous.  This sunrise was a new beginning, not only for my summer, but for the rest of my life.

~~ Breakfast is the first meal of the day.  That first chance of energy after a long night of laying still, in the dark.  The energizing start to my summer was Summer Camp.  What a great start too.  I wrote a little blurb about summer camp in a previous blog [In Between the Lions] so I won't go into a ton of detail here.  But summer camp to me was like a nice blend of bacon, eggs, and cheese on a croissant.  And lots of fruit.  Summer camp was a wake up call after a long night of sleep.  

~~ Lunch tends to be the meal that I share with friends.  We go out shopping, then stop and share lunch together at Ruby Tuesday's or McDonald's [depending on the heftiness of our paychecks for the week].  Lunch is a time of giving as well.  Sharing left overs off of each other's plates, splitting the bill right down the middle, etc.  So my lunch this summer was Belize.  Now I haven't shared anything about Belize in a post yet, so here it goes.  Brace yourselves.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ The team that Cornerstone sent to Belize was an absolutely amazing blend of people, and I am so glad I was able to be a part of it.  We worked well together, and I don't think there was ever a bicker among one team member to another.  The week was filled with young village children, some who spoke English and some who did not.  The theme of our week, one of the words that kept popping up at the end of each day during our debriefing session, was love.  Even if the people of each village we visited couldn't understand a word we said, they all could comprehend love.  Whether it was a hug for a small child, throwing a frisbee to an older youth, or smiling at a pregnant woman with a brood of children clinging to her legs.

~~ Another common word in Belize was joy.  Most of these kids had NOTHING.  Just the clothes on their back, and shoes if they were lucky enough.  Yet everytime our problematic school bus arrived on a ministry site, kids came running.  Little feet pounding across the hot asphalt or the dusty sand.  Then they would line up and smile the biggest smiles while they waited for us to climb off the bus.  Once we picked some kids up from a children's home.. most who didn't have parents anymore whether through abandonment or death.  Those kids were joyful.  You couldn't tell them apart from the other kids who came with their parents.  They were hungry for God's word.  

~~ The last word that popped up a few times was family.  It was heartbreaking and humbling to watch 7 year olds walk up to ministry sites holding a baby in one arm, and the hand of a 3 year old in the other.  Watching them huddle in little groups with their brothers and sisters and cousins, taking turns with the youngest, and clinging to each other.  The biggest chance we got to serve them was to let them be kids.  Even if only for a day.  The women in our team would collect the babies and younger children so the older kids who play the roles of mom and dad, could run around like elementary aged kids are supposed to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ Dinner is typically a family event.  That's the meal that most families gather around one table, talk about their day, and eat together.  So the dinner of my summer was the trip that most of my family went on.  Beach Plant.  My mom was a chaperone, I was a junior chaperone, Hannah and Bekah were participants, and Sarina was the usual sidekick/mascot.  It was great to get to minister to another church in Myrtle Beach alongside with my youth group and my family.  It was indeed a great trip over all.  I made some new friends, and learned some new lessons.

~~ Some people eat night time snacks.  Kind of a little pick me up before going to bed.  So if there was an event in my summer to label a snack.. it would definitely be the weekend we went up to Pennsylvania.  It was wonderful to hang out with old friends, visit with a lot of family, and on the return trip home, make a huge tax-free purchase in Delaware.  My 17" MacBook Pro [with the free ipod touch and printer].  Oh the joys of being a college student.  Free stuff.  :]  For some reason though, they make you spend money to get free stuff.  So I guess it's not completely free?  Oh well, that was still a very happy day, and a nice treat.  Kinda like a bedtime snack.

~~ Now here we are.  The sunset of summer.  A little less then 2 weeks till school starts.  I can feel the ending arriving.  Almost like watching the sky turn colors as the sun nears the horizon, completing it's full arch across the blue backdrop speckled with fluffy clouds.  The day isn't over yet.  This is going to be a jam-packed two weeks, from Camp Rock at the Stone every morning, Carowinds on Saturday with some friends, and the youth trip to Dollywood.  I'll be pretty busy almost every second of every day, right up till the 17th when I once again walk the FDTC campus, this time as a fully-enrolled student.

~~ Everyone has seasons in their lives, much like this description of a day I dedicated to summer.  This summer I walked through some light rains, and a few full-blown thunderstorms.  However, I also soaked up the sun, and even saw a rainbow or two.  One of the passages of scripture I memorized this summer was Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.  Verse one says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven," and then it continues on with contrasting phrases, showing that we'll go through happy times filled with smiles and laughter.. as well as hardships laden with sorrowful tears of resentment and regret.  I could speak on this passage forever, so maybe at one point I'll just dedicate a blog to it.  :]

~~ This summer was very busy.  The other day while I was out with my mom searching for some school supplies [yay!] I mentioned how busy my summer was.  I told her that I was excited for school to start, because then I'll have more time to hang out with people and do some of the things I planned on doing this summer that I didn't get a chance to do.  For example, rearrange my room, paint my walls, read some books, etc.  Much to my disappointment, my mom just laughed.  I guess she knows something I don't?  It couldn't possibly have anything to do with being a full-time college student, could it?  I'm sure it has NOTHING to do with my part time job, and the other commitments I make to people and church throught the year.  Oh well.  :]

Life Lessons Learned from Sea

~~ Waves. A continuous flow of noisy white surf crashing upon the shore. Sand. That gritty stuff that is always in your swimsuit, who's foundation isn't stable and could sink away any second. Then there's the sea creatures. Jelly fish. Crabs. Every kid loves running through the ocean until they encounter one of these animals.

~~ There was a young boy once, who's father took him to the beach. They built a big sand castle at the edge of the water, and then stood by and watched on as the tide broke it down and carried it away. What was left, was a smooth patch of sand, so they began again. They detailed the turrets, carved out doors, and yet again watched the tide break it down and carry it away. The young boy got tired of watching their masterpiece be swept away. The father explained to him though that each time the tide comes, they have a chance to build another castle bigger and better than before. The boy still didn't understand, so the father gave up trying to explain it and instead brought him toward the ocean.

~~ Standing at the edge of the ocean, the boy threw a chunk of sand at it for tearing away his sand castle. As he reached back to throw another chunk, his father grabbed his fist and opened his hand till the sand slid out. Then he silently lead the child into the ocean. The waves crashed down around them, and the boy was frightened. But the kind father held his hand the whole time. Once the boy seemed to have a solid footing against the waves, the father let go of his hand and stood behind him. A few waves came and the boy was fine. He ventured out farther because of his confidence in himself, and soon a wave crashed over his body and swept him under. His father however, was right behind him and grabbed his waist as he floated by. Smiling and laughing at the circumstance.

~~ And so the pattern began. The boy would walk out to the bigger waves, then be swept underneath and lifted back up by the father. Once however, the boy told his father to stand off to the side. He was positive that he would make it through the next wave on his own. As a wave crashed down and the boy was swept under, he panicked when those strong arms didn't lift him back up. As much as it hurt the father to watch his child thrashing under the water, he let him go to see how he would react. The boy finally found a footing on the soft sand and stood up. His throat was burning from the salt water rushing into his mouth, and he had tears streaming down his face. He glared at his father and left the water to go get a drink and sit down in the sand.

~~ The father approached, but the boy crossed his arms and turned his back.. tears still pouring down his face. However, the father still sat down beside him and put a hand on his shoulder, patiently waiting for the boy to turn towards him and curl up against his strong arm. When he finally did, the father explained that sometimes in life we have to go through things on our own. We won't always have someone right there to help us through things. But he told him that just like he stood off to the side to make sure his son was alright, we always have a Father in heaven that is watching us, and doesn't want anything bad to happen to us. Each circumstance in life however, is ordained by God. So just as the boy realized that he still needed his father to get through the ocean, each of us still need God to walk with us through life. Don't push Him aside.

In Between the Lions

~~ I'm sure you have heard of that kids show. If not, don't worry about it because more than likely you'll get the theme song stuck in your head for eternity. But those of you who have seen the show, "In Between the Lions" on PBS kids and similar stations, would recognize that it is is about reading, and the "lions" mentioned in the title refer to the bookends that hold the books together. These past few days and the next few days of my summer, are the days in between the lions. However, in this case, the lions are representatives of the huge summer activities I am a part of. One just completed, and one yet to come.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ Summer Camp. Every student in our student ministry looks forward to summer camp. This year we went to the mountains of Georgia, to a small campsite owned by Global Youth Missions. They host a camp there during the summers that is lead by recent high school graduates and college students. My church, Cornerstone Baptist Church, loaded 85 students into two charter buses last Monday, and made the 8 and a half hour journey to the top of a mountain for this camp. 85 out of 85 students had high expectations for summer camp this year. 85 out of 85 students had their expectations crushed when we arrived. None of us left our minds open. Even the new rising 7th graders found disappointment waiting for them when it wasn't the same as us older students had promised. We went into our rooms that night, and drifted off to sleep hoping things would get better.

~~ Tuesday: 85 out of 85 students were proved wrong. Camp was absolutely amazing. Every single person agreed that it was the best camp we had ever been to as a church group. Previous camps provided many recreational relay games, an advertised professional speaker, a record labeled band with at least one CD [which could be purchased at the merchandise table after worship services], snack bars, dramas, etc. This Global Youth camp we went to boasted none of that. The camp was basically led by young people not much older then I am. The speaker didn't stand on a stage, but rather connected with the audience by being on the ground, walking down the aisle, asking peoples names and placing them in his stories, oh and also by yelling real loud after whispering.. causing many to jump out of their seats. He had great facial expressions and vocal tones, wonderful speaker overall. There were 8 teams that we were split up into along with students from other churches. That allowed us to make new friends and bond in new ways. The whole camp focused on scripture memory, which I've never done at a camp before. That really helped us get God's word in our hearts, as well as gather points for our teams. :]

~~ By Wednesday and Thursday we all loved this camp. We worked hard for our teams in the memory verses, as well as the team building sports we played. Even the food was good. However, Thursday I woke up with acid reflux.. which put a damper on the rest of my day, as well as the ride home on Friday. Every night we'd have church group time.. where all 85 of us and our leaders would meet in a room and talk with each other.. as well as share some huge things going on in our lives. We were all challenged by Mrs. Julie on day one to pray the dangerous prayer.. "Lord change me." I think many people sincerely prayed that prayer and upon returning from camp have changed many habits and lifestyles we found ourselves caught up in. It was a really powerful week.

~~ In closing on my blurb about summer camp.. we all learned that it's not the band, the speaker, the activities, or even the sermon's that are preached that make camp amazing.. and provide good "God experiences". It's God himself. Once we were stripped down of all the distracting things we take advantage of [ipods, cell phone service, big bands, our close circle of friends], we were able to focus and rely completely on God. That provided the best experience I've ever known. Our biggest goal when returning home is to keep camp here. The "camp high" we experience every year always seems to be temporary.. because we tend to think of it as the highest point in our walk with God. Really.. it's just the beginning. When you're at your highest point the only option you have is to go down. But if you think of it as the lowest point.. then we can only climb higher with the love and accountability we found at camp.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ Now this is the part of the blog where I write about these few days "in between the lions". My room looks like a disaster. I have a half unpacked suitcase strewn out on my floor. Today I've been moving the clean clothes I had in there to the pool table in the bonus room down the hall. Yes folks. I am yet again.. packing. I'm making lists, gathering clothes and first aid items, and preparing myself to put them all back into a suitcase. These are the few days of recovery I have before I'm off on another trip. This time, out of the country..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ Belize [June 25 - July 2]. Thursday morning at 5am another bus will leave the parking lot of our church, this time headed to an airport. After a day of flying, our team will be in Belize--two hours behind Florence. I don't have much to write about that trip right now.. as we have not yet left. But I wanted to list a few key things you can be praying for.

• Flight and traveling safety
• Good health and energy.. and HYDRATION
• Preparation for the hearts of the locals that they would respond to the gospel
• Preparation for our own hearts as we embark on this life changing trip

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ So those are some of the bookends in my summer. Summer camp and Belize. However, there is another huge trip. Beach Plant takes place about a week after we get back from Belize. Then the end of August provides some busy times for the Kid's Drama Camp at Cornerstone: Camp Rock at the Stone. I'm always moving. Always going somewhere. Always doing something. But that's the way [uh-huh, uh-huh] I like it. :]

Welcome :]

~~ Welcome to my blog. You may be asking what possessed me to start yet another online outlet of expression to follow and try to keep up with. However, I find that it makes a lot of sense. I've followed blogs that women post during their pregnancies.. I've heard of people writing about the journey to marriage.. and even the super mom's who blog while their kids are at school or taking a nap. I found myself wanting to do that. Something to look back on as time goes by. Beginning a blog on my 18th birthday then, seemed like an excellent way to start. For those of you who are interested.. or just wanting to know what's going on in my crazy life.. this is for you. As well as for me, to get my thoughts out and look back one day at the time that has flown by.

~~ The name of this blog was one of those spur of the moment names. I was struggling to come up with something.. so I just typed in the first thing that came to mind. I like it though.. [which is good because I don't think I can change it]. These are my thoughts.. my ramblings.. this is my blog. So "Ramblings of a Spazio" seemed to fit. :]
I'm still getting the hang of this, but I'll get it all figured out one day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~ I guess I should start this all off by writing about the events leading up to my 18th birthday. I spent yesterday with the joys of being young. I almost feared that some zap of lightning would strike me at midnight, and make me an adult. I slept in a bit.. then watched Camp Rock with my younger sisters. It had an interesting fan-girl kind of appeal to it.. definitely targeted at the younger age groups. Later on I walked through Target with Jordan and Kimberly with a pair of black polka-dotted rain boots on. Later that night, I anxiously awaited midnight.. however.. after much disappointment I soon fell asleep. There was a lot of lightning, but not the "zap" I was looking for.

~~ This morning when I woke up, I still felt the same. I ate some left over graduation cake for breakfast, and got ready for my day. Mackie came over and we spread out a picnic at the park. The air was humid, and infested with mosquitoes. Afterward we went and saw Disney Pixar's UP, and had a blast. Really good movie. My mom made a wonderful Chicken Cordon Blu casserole for supper, then some Wii tournaments and pool games followed. Much to my disappointment, I still felt the same. However, I'm thankful that 18 year-olds are still allowed to watch cute Disney movies and play Wii bowling.

~~ The best part of the day though, in my opinion, is right now. Sitting down alone, looking back. 18 is a big number. I often find myself saying phrases like, "When I was younger.." and "Remember that one time a few years ago.." The present is becoming the past. I'm growing up, and looking back at "childhood memories." Everything around me is changing. So there may not have been a "zap" of adulthood thrust upon me, but I feel older. You never realize how many years are flying by until you stand still.

~~ On a lighter note.. age doesn't even matter. Age seems to just be the levels of past you have behind you. The memory meter or something like that. Age is just a number.. it's your life that matters. Granted that age does have a little to do with legal things like drinking, smoking, voting, and getting your driver's license.. but when it comes to matters of simple life.. there is no limit.

~~ There is never anyone who is too old to have a little fun every once in a while, whether that means silly string fights in the park [or car.. but I don't suggest that].. or clomping through Target in rain boots with the tags still on them. Take a moment to stand still, remember the joys of the past.. laugh at the fun times.. and then turn right around and face the future with a smile on your face, and in your heart.