Faith and Obedience

Obeying God can sometimes lead to some major changes. In my case: literally. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of becoming an astronaut or President of the United States. Neither of those will come true, obviously, because they were just silly little girl dreams, and unless you are Cinderella, not all dreams will come true. My career dreaming led to Interior Design when I was a little older, then that morphed into Graphic Design. My Junior year in high school I had it all set. I began seeking out colleges with decent Visual Communication programs, and began psyching myself up for a life as an artist. Sounded pretty good!

My youth pastor took a group of us to a conference in 2008 called Kaleo, which is geared to helping students answer the call God has placed on their lives. That weekend I felt a serious tug at my heart to enter the world of Psychology and work towards being a counselor or therapist for teen girls.

Well I pushed that feeling aside. I had a dream, and that was to become a graphic designer. I honestly didn't know what I wanted to do as a career, but that seemed like a pretty up and coming major to choose. I wanted to be Carissa: the artist. Trust me I had this all planned out. So for the next two years I pursued my dreams.

I am in full support of seeking to do what you dream of doing or what you love to do. But here is what it all boiled down to for me. I had a dream to become Carissa: the artist. Do you see where the problem lies? There is an awful lot of "Carissa" in the phrase "Carissa: the artist." God gave me a passion for teenaged girls who are hurting, struggling, and barely making it through life. That call and passion He placed in my life is so much bigger then the dreams of Carissa: the artist.

Now I am a Freshman/Sophomore in college. I went back to Kaleo, the conference that started it all. In these past few years I could not push Psychology out of my mind.. believe me, I tried. So Kaleo 2010 rolls around and call it guts or call it God.. I had that feeling again. Psychology. I have never taken a Psychology class in my life. But today, March 23, 2010 I have officially taken the step of blind faith to answer that call. Where it may lead? I am not fully certain.

So when the church encourages you to put your cell phone on silent, be sure you do not attempt to silence God's voice the same way. That connection must be left on "high" at all times. The call of God is more important then any dream you may have.

Listen for it.

Answer it.

Setting Sparrows Free

Beneath every masked face

There is a bundle of lies

Waiting to be discovered

Behind every shattered mirror

Hide regrets from the past

Screaming to be brought to the light

Inside every locked cage

A sparrow flaps bitterly

Hopelessly--

Longing to be set free

March 17, 2010

Undeserved Love

Humbled. Once again I am reminded of the brutal and morbid death You died. For me. For all that I have done. Every single sin I have committed or will commit in my lifetime was wrapped up in that pain.

You are.. the Spotless Lamb. The Holy Son of God. You have never cursed, lusted, lied, judged, kept a grudge, or even thought bad thoughts. And here I am. A worthless piece of junk. Or am I?

What did You see in me? When You were being torn to shreds, did You see my life? You knew I would mess up. You knew I would sin. Even after repenting and accepting Your forgiveness, I still blatantly go out and sin against You. You died for a worthless creature. I don't even love You like I should.

But You LOVE me. Even though I swung that whip. Even though I hammered that nail into Your wrist. How could You? It is like using a spotless new rag to wipe up a dirty mess. But in that process, You made me clean; You made me new.

Here I am. A sinner. A slanderer.

You are my Savior.

You are too good to me.

All Aboard!

Welcome aboard the SS Life!

We as Christians are all rowing in the same boat, and this isn't a "Merrily merrily merrily gently down the stream" boat. This is a boat full of adventure, trials, and opportunities to exercise patience. This is a boat where we need to work as a team to keep it moving in the right direction, and we need to work as individuals to encourage those around us to keep rowing.

God directs the current. He has His hand in the winds and the breezes that fill our sails. Some days it is smooth sailing, and we can raise the sails and relax a little bit. But some days, when the storms begin to rage we must bunker down and keep a good grip on the oars, for if we do not, we risk being tossed overboard.

The most important thing to realize though, is that God is the captain, and we are simply deckhands. We have no say in the navigation of the boat. It is just our decision to go the way we are directed. Sometimes the current is rough, sometimes the waves are rocky. But if God created the storms, we know He created them for a reason.

Trust. Trust trust trust is the key word in this situation. I am learning how important the meaning of that word is.. daily. "Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.. acceptance of the truth of a statement without evidence or investigation." Man is that powerful or what? God has called us to trust Him. To trust our Captain.

So tell me. Are you ready for this voyage through the seas of life?

Four Years.

Well today is February 12th. Four years ago to this very day we were traveling through about a foot of snow to move down south.

Four years ago today, I was bitter, selfish, and very upset. But looking back, I am SO glad my parents made the decision to move, because if they didn't, I would not be the girl I am today.

It is the challenging times in our lives that allow us to grow stronger and develop into the people that God has called us to be. If I did not move, then I would still be comfortable. I would not have met all the wonderfully amazing people I know today.

Four years ago today, I was mad at God, and I was mad at my parents. But now I am so grateful for the calling they felt to move down here. I told myself I would never like it here.. and things would never be the same. I was right. I do not like it here, I LOVE it here. And things truly aren't the same. They are better. I am a better person.

If you are in a rough circumstance where your world is changing, twisting, and crashing, hold tight to the love God has for you. Things might be hard now, but when the storm clouds break and the sun bursts through, you will see the flowers blooming. Flowers with vibrant colors that could only stay alive with rain.

What If..

What if God has called me?

What if following that call means giving up my dreams,

and instead,

allows me to follow my passion?

What if people think I'm crazy?

What if.

Now what?

Will I be obedient?

Will I pursue God's visions,

or selfishly remain wrapped up in my own?

I cannot continue to run in the opposite direction.

Yes,

I have no idea what I am doing.

But isn't that what faith is?

A Puzzle and a Picture

I pulled the box down off the shelf

I began to lift the lid

Inside were all kinds of pieces

The pieces to my life

I began to take them out

I examined each one

I started to laugh at some and cry at others

The pictures were rarely clear

Many were hazy

And most of them - blank

As I began to piece them together

I started to look at each one

Trying to find how they interlocked

I finally found a few to connect

Their edges were flush

The rest of the pieces were in a jumble

I couldn't even begin to sort them out

I didn't know where to begin

I started with the straight edges

And began to fill in the center

It took days

Weeks

Years

Finally I am finished

I have a completed puzzle

A puzzle representing my life

I just have to wait and see

What the picture will look like

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That is something I wrote in January of 2007. Three years ago. There is something powerful to be discovered by looking back over one's life and discovering the plan God had. I have always loved to write. For about 2 years I wrote stuff like that all the time, about whatever I was feeling at the time. This was something I had written during a confusing time in my life. I had been in South Carolina for a year, and I hated it. I still did not know what God had planned for my future.

I know now, looking back, that moving was the best thing God could have tossed into my life. I am learning so much RIGHT NOW, that I would not be learning if I was still in Pennsylvania. Well maybe I would, but I would not have had some of the experiences I had here. Three years ago, when I wrote this poem type thing, I could not have even began to imagine all that God would be doing in my life right now.

I can honestly say though, I can see some of that picture. I can see the reasons I went through the things I did. I have a story. Everybody does. Have you ever taken the time to reread your own life-story up until this point, up until this moment, and think about all the things God has brought you through?

All of the fires you have walked through.

All of the storms you have encountered.. finding the peace of God enveloping you in one massive wave in the midst of it.

When our lives our complete, what will we leave behind? I often think about that. When my life is done, and I pass out of this world, how will people remember me? What will people associate my name with? Will the repercussions of my life go on and on? Or will that memory fade away, staying only with those I was closest to. All of that does not even compare to the most important question though. When people look at me.. do they see me? Or do they see God? When I die, will people say, "Carissa, she lived her life for God," or will I just be, "Carissa."

Who will you be? Looking at your life, RIGHT NOW.. what would someone say about you? Would everyone say the same thing?